| When Alice Weatherspoon fancied a bit of fish for | | | | years of fishing that stretch of river Alice had |
| her tea, she didn’t go to the | | | | never even seen a warden, but she knew the |
| fishmonger’s or the chip shop, she went | | | | type. |
| down to the river to catch her own. Mind you if | | | | ‘Excuse me Madam, could I see your |
| the river warden were to catch her fishing | | | | fishing licence?’ the man asked. |
| without a licence it would have cost her a pretty | | | | ‘And who might you be?’ |
| penny, the fines were ridiculous and could be as | | | | ‘I am the river warden and you need a |
| high as £2,500. | | | | licence to fish here.’ |
| It would have been an easy job for Alice to get a | | | | ‘That’s alright then,’ said |
| licence, but she refused too on principle. The | | | | Alice. ‘I’m not fishing.’ |
| Environment Agency issued the rod fishing | | | | ‘But, you have been Madam and that is an |
| licences and since she was a trout tickler and | | | | offence, and liable to a fine.’ |
| didn’t own a rod, Alice refused to pay for | | | | ‘I didn’t know that, but it’s |
| a licence. She learnt the art of trout tickling from | | | | OK since I haven’t been fishing.’ |
| her father when she was a girl. Her father had | | | | ‘If that’s the case, Madam, why |
| learned it from his father, who had turned to | | | | have you got two trout in that bucket?’ |
| poaching as a means of feeding his family, during | | | | ‘Ah them, well, that one is Mavis and that |
| the strike of 26. | | | | one’s Mary they’re my pets and I |
| Well, last Friday Alice made her way down to the | | | | bring them down to the river every day so they |
| river Wear, bucket in hand, to catch a bit of fish | | | | can get some exercise.’ |
| and unlike Lampton she wasn’t after a | | | | ‘That is the most ridiculous thing I have |
| worm, she was after a nice pair of trout for her | | | | ever heard.’ |
| tea. Her mother had been a regular churchgoer | | | | ‘No it’s not. What I do is, I tip the |
| and despite Alice’s lack of interest in | | | | fish into the river down there, take a walk up |
| organised religion, she always had to have fish for | | | | there, until I get to the bridge, then I put the |
| her tea on a Friday. | | | | bucket in the water, tap the side with my stick |
| Her favourite pitch was upstream from Penshaw, | | | | and Mavis and Mary swim back into the |
| on a quiet stretch a few yards beyond the bridge | | | | bucket.’ |
| that carries the A182 across the Wear Valley. On | | | | ‘I don’t believe a word of it,’ |
| reaching the spot she half filled her bucket with | | | | said the warden. ‘You must think |
| water, rolled up her sleeve and lay on the bank | | | | I’m stupid.’ |
| with her arm in the water. An hour later her | | | | ‘Look, I’ll prove it to you,’ |
| patience was rewarded as she scooped out the | | | | said Alice and she tipped the trout into the river. |
| first trout and placed it in the bucket, twenty | | | | ‘Right,’ said the warden. ‘ |
| minutes later the second one joined the first and | | | | Now, lets see you get the fish to swim back into |
| she was ready to leave. | | | | the bucket.’ |
| Picking up the bucket, she set off for home and | | | | ‘What fish would that be?’ Asked |
| had gone no more than 50 yards when the | | | | Alice innocently. |
| warden stepped out from behind a tree. In 10 | | | | |