| When Alice Weatherspoon fancied a bit of fish | | | | ‘Excuse me Madam, could I see your |
| for her tea, she didn’t go to the | | | | fishing licence?’ the man asked. |
| fishmonger’s or the chip shop, she went | | | | |
| down to the river to catch her own. Mind you | | | | ‘And who might you be?’ |
| if the river warden were to catch her fishing | | | | |
| without a licence it would have cost her a | | | | ‘I am the river warden and you need a |
| pretty penny, the fines were ridiculous and | | | | licence to fish here.’ |
| could be as high as £2,500. | | | | |
| | | | ‘That’s alright then,’ said |
| It would have been an easy job for Alice to | | | | Alice. ‘I’m not fishing.’ |
| get a licence, but she refused too on | | | | |
| principle. The Environment Agency issued the | | | | ‘But, you have been Madam and that is |
| rod fishing licences and since she was a | | | | an offence, and liable to a fine.’ |
| trout tickler and didn’t own a rod, | | | | |
| Alice refused to pay for a licence. She | | | | ‘I didn’t know that, but |
| learnt the art of trout tickling from her | | | | it’s OK since I haven’t been |
| father when she was a girl. Her father had | | | | fishing.’ |
| learned it from his father, who had turned to | | | | |
| poaching as a means of feeding his family, | | | | ‘If that’s the case, Madam, why |
| during the strike of 26. | | | | have you got two trout in that bucket?’ |
| | | | |
| Well, last Friday Alice made her way down to | | | | ‘Ah them, well, that one is Mavis and |
| the river Wear, bucket in hand, to catch a | | | | that one’s Mary they’re my pets |
| bit of fish and unlike Lampton she | | | | and I bring them down to the river every day |
| wasn’t after a worm, she was after a | | | | so they can get some exercise.’ |
| nice pair of trout for her tea. Her mother | | | | |
| had been a regular churchgoer and despite | | | | ‘That is the most ridiculous thing I |
| Alice’s lack of interest in organised | | | | have ever heard.’ |
| religion, she always had to have fish for her | | | | |
| tea on a Friday. | | | | ‘No it’s not. What I do is, I tip |
| | | | the fish into the river down there, take a |
| Her favourite pitch was upstream from | | | | walk up there, until I get to the bridge, |
| Penshaw, on a quiet stretch a few yards | | | | then I put the bucket in the water, tap the |
| beyond the bridge that carries the A182 | | | | side with my stick and Mavis and Mary swim |
| across the Wear Valley. On reaching the spot | | | | back into the bucket.’ |
| she half filled her bucket with water, rolled | | | | |
| up her sleeve and lay on the bank with her | | | | ‘I don’t believe a word of |
| arm in the water. An hour later her patience | | | | it,’ said the warden. ‘You must |
| was rewarded as she scooped out the first | | | | think I’m stupid.’ |
| trout and placed it in the bucket, twenty | | | | |
| minutes later the second one joined the first | | | | ‘Look, I’ll prove it to |
| and she was ready to leave. | | | | you,’ said Alice and she tipped the |
| | | | trout into the river. |
| Picking up the bucket, she set off for home | | | | |
| and had gone no more than 50 yards when the | | | | ‘Right,’ said the warden. ‘ |
| warden stepped out from behind a tree. In 10 | | | | Now, lets see you get the fish to swim back |
| years of fishing that stretch of river Alice | | | | into the bucket.’ |
| had never even seen a warden, but she knew | | | | |
| the type. | | | | ‘What fish would that be?’ Asked |
| | | | Alice innocently. |