| Successful Fishing: The mysterious "e" | | | | before..."Right.Since that time, the same cause and |
| Factor.There has always been a strange, and to | | | | effect has occured too many times to be a |
| this day, unsolved mysterious theory in the fishing | | | | coincidence. I fish, she comes along and outfishes |
| world.My wife knows of this theory and she | | | | me.AND--It was not just with her. If I happened |
| thinks I am crazy, paranoid, and maybe even a | | | | to be fishing in the same boat or locale with the |
| little hard up.The theory is based on secrets that | | | | female species present, I would always get |
| have been held by a small but priveleged group of | | | | outfished. It got to the point where if I saw a |
| men, who have sworn secrecy and taken blood | | | | woman or if my wife was fishing, I just resigned |
| oaths, in order to keep the modern societies | | | | myself to playing cribbage or "guiding"--so to |
| from crumbling.I reveal this secret at great peril | | | | speak.After twenty years or so of this trend,and |
| and with no apparent regard to the ramifications | | | | after talking to most other fishermen, I realized |
| that may take place, out of an act of final | | | | this was not just happening to me. So, like |
| frustration.I am tired of getting outfished by my | | | | unlocking the DaVinci code and after examination |
| wife!!I see you there, looking puzzled and | | | | of years of evidence I am here to reveal the |
| confused--but let me explain.I first started | | | | secret.Estrogen.Yes, the "e" factor, is the female |
| noticing, what I will call the "e" factor-- back in | | | | hormone--estrogen.What else could it be??For |
| 1976.Fishing for Brown trout in the Eastern Sierras | | | | centuries, wise men have known this and kept it |
| of California, I always did relatively well, catching | | | | a well guarded secret. Women will always outfish |
| numerous 19 and 20 inch fish. My, then girlfriend | | | | men....because of the"e" factor.You can change |
| and soon to be wife, would join me on fishing | | | | sides in a boat, throw your fly or bait into the |
| camping trips and always seemed content to let | | | | same water, or sabotage her equipment--the |
| her man "bring home the bacon". | | | | results will always be the same, women will |
| I would arrive back at fish camp and proudly | | | | outfish men. Unless she fakes it. Of course a |
| display to her my ability to be a "provider", while | | | | woman would never do that!!Right.Why do fish |
| she in turn would humor me with her admiration. | | | | react to the "e" factor?I have no idea. But some |
| Occasionally, she would tire of the camping scene | | | | tiny little estrogen tricle charge, carries through a |
| and would ask to join me in the hunt for Browns. | | | | fishing rod,down the line and past the hook, |
| Confidence in tack and bolstered by her | | | | sending some sort of message to the underwater |
| admiration, I would always say sure--figuring she | | | | world that makes it impossible for a fish to resist. |
| wanted to witness "her man" in action.I would | | | | Estrogen should be outlawed as an unfair fish |
| catch a few fish and she would let me bait the | | | | attractant!!Paranoid---my eye!!So there you have it. |
| hook and give her pointers. | | | | What happens next is up to society.Women may |
| "Just throw it upstream a little bit, let it drift right | | | | take to the sea in boats named after their men-- |
| in there---yeah there ya go- give it a little | | | | left tearfully at the dock.While we men folk |
| slack--let him take it innnn.... NOW SET THE | | | | prepare the evening fare and tidy camp--women |
| HOOK!!"Oh, she would act excited and further | | | | could be out until dark wrestling large salmonids, |
| bolster my confidence. Now I was also a great | | | | and complaining of the loss of good daylight.While |
| guide and instructor!!Then I would go back to | | | | we complain about our spouses at "Bunco night", |
| fishing, kind of tap her on the head and say: | | | | our ladies will be tying and trying new |
| "There, just keep doing that." She would fawn | | | | combinations of chenille and fur!!...And we're not |
| over me and I would strut cocksure back to my | | | | talking fashionable clothing here!!We can't even |
| fishing hole. | | | | count on menopause to level the fishing playing |
| Pretty soon she would be squealing --"OOH I | | | | field anymore.Women are having estrogen |
| have another one!"I would walk over and remove | | | | replacement therapy--under the guise of better |
| the fish, and before I could wipe my hands off | | | | health-- to keep their fish catching superiority |
| she would be back in the water,and catching | | | | from diminishing!!I know I have been irresponsible |
| more fish. I am sure you can understand that this | | | | here, and like "Deep Throat" from the watergate |
| would get old after awhile....so I would then | | | | era, may not realize the way history has been |
| instruct her on the removal of the fish, so I could | | | | altered, but the frustration was just to great.Why |
| go back to "providing".The "e" factor would now | | | | speak now??Well... the increase in the number of |
| mysteriously appear.Nada, nothing, kotonashi!! Not | | | | women that are taking up fly fishing, and fishing in |
| even a bite--for me that is. | | | | general, is getting astronomical and growing at an |
| Meanwhile, the "squealfest" continued over on the | | | | alarming rate. So, the only hope is to make an |
| little misses pole.I would put special twists in the | | | | appeal to the more sensitive side of the female |
| bait, concentrate like David Copperfield trying to | | | | species, and ask that they back down. They need |
| bend a spoon, and toss in to the very spot I | | | | to understand that they have an unfair |
| instructed her to fish in, and the results would be | | | | advantage, in the "e" factor, and we men have |
| the same.She would squeal and I would give her | | | | sooo little left....please let us have the fish!!!!That's |
| an insincere "atta girl". Of course pretty soon she | | | | it...that's my appeal, and I can only hope that |
| would tire of catching fish, give me a bouyant- | | | | women everywhere will respond positively to this |
| practically flipant- "Oh, I'm getting tired," and bound | | | | cry for help, and we men can brim confidently |
| off back to camp leaving me to clean HER fish | | | | once more.Until then, I have begun estrogen |
| and haul them back to camp. I would seethe and | | | | replacement therapy myself.... I'll be damned if I |
| "bear down", determined to at least catch a | | | | will continue to be outfished by my wife!!A guys |
| bigger fish--but after awhile- I would be so wound | | | | got to do, what a guys got to do....A.J. Klott |
| up from failure, that I would steam back to camp | | | | Author, writer of fishing humor,and "fly tack" |
| completely demoralized.My" girl", would then go | | | | peddler.A.J. writes about the people,characters and |
| into damage control, and work to bring my | | | | modern day events that surround the fishing |
| confidence level back up, with the usual " I was | | | | world. His first book is due out in December of |
| soooo lucky, I've never caught fish like that | | | | 2005. |